Category: Getting to Know You
Hey all! I thought I'd share what someone did to me at church. When I went to college I went to a small church nearby. I became relatively close with a couple and told them as to a friend that I'm afraid of cows, because loud noises startle me. Well the following Sunday the drama began. He and several other guys began to make cow noises each 6time they saw me. I told them not to do that several times, but the herassment continued. At one point one of those guys was holding a Bible study lesson. And he said, we fear god because we don't see him, but we also fear cows because we don't see them.
Kristin, the guy's point was well-taken, but It was inappropriate for him to single you out that way. Had he taken you asside and warned you about using that fear as an "Object Lesson" it might have been better, but that was rather odd.
Lou
Kristin,
Having worked with a pastor for 10 years who constantly has capitalized on my fear of birds, I've become used to being teased. I jut laugh it off, but then, I'm not a girl. Having said that, it would be nice if somebody knew you better before they picked on you.
Sounds like all they were doing was trying to help you overcome your fear of cows, and if this was their intention, then maybe you shouldn't hold it against them. If they continue, then talk with them directly and say that you don't find it funny. Or ask them to explain why they believe cows are harmless.
By the way, are you still afraid of cows?
all cows do is produce a lot of methane. have you heard the extrodenary noise a horse can make? wow! some have lungs on them i can tell you!
Mooooooooooooooooooo Mooooooooooooooo! kidding.
Well, I just feel this immense fear that I'll go to hell, and they are lying and we'll all go, because they talk about hell so much.
The real issue to me here is that these people have been asked not to do something, and yet they continue. It shouldn't matter if they think it helpful or whatever. The issue is that they are persisting with something that is bothering someone else.
Nem
This sort of illustrate my frustration with church and all that. I feel churches are full of better-than-thou attitude Christians, who feel salvations is theirs and they can go laugh at the rest of those evil people who are going to hell, because they don't give 6 dollars to the assigned charity and read the bible to 15 people each day.
And yet, we find out these people are mean, cruel, cheating and criminal, raping young boys, scaring people, soliciting money for dubious if not downright criminal courses etc.
These types of people are often those who rise to prominance, I am by no means saying that majority or even a large minority of people are like that, but way too many.
I know the core of the religion is that we're all sinners. I agree with that, and I agree with the core principals of the religion as well and you'd call me a believer, though not of the active-church-going-in-your-face-want-to-convert-the-world variety.
I had a friend in college who would only suggest us "hanging out" either when she was going to church (and would take me along), or suggest I come hang out in her room, once I got there it turned out to be a bible study group with bunch of people, making me late to other functions I had, because I couldn't stand up and leave in the middle of some interpretation or other. I always felt unappreciated and used by her, which is why our friendship ended pretty quickly.
That, coupled with direct threats from the pasteur of the group, that if people attending did not give money to X and do Y and show up by next Wednesday they'd be more likely to go to hell completely turned me away from church going since I found there were too many arrogant, mean spirited and downright bad people, using religion as some sort of justification for a power trip and general meanness.
Since then I've only gone to traditional masses in Europe, usually at holidays or for special occasions (me and my wife got married in church, because I feel that's the most honest and binding commitment, even if she doesn't necessarily agree she felt it was also the right thing to do).
Cheers
-B
I couldn't agree more. That's why I don't go to church or even consider myself a part of any organized religion. And if they'll resort to such childish things as what happened to Kristin that just shows that many of them aren't worthy of respect.
Agreed. Even if they thought they were being helpful, their actions strike me as just down right cruel.
As a nonchristian, I'm completely confused by these tactics. How are they supposed to help you? They'd anger me. Why on Earth would you stay in a place where people harassed you? That certainly doesn't sound like a good environment for worshipping. wildebrew, I agree with you, except on the born sinners idea, which doesn't exist within Hellenic Polytheism. Of course, most Christians aren't like that, but it's stories like this one and some others I've heard on The Boards that really make me glad to be a pagan. How could these people in the church where you went be so gullible as to believe that they would go to Hell just because they didn't give money? Okay, granted, I do sacrifice and libate to The Gods, but I do so out of love, appreciation and respect. The only ones who usually benefit from these things are Them and myself and no one but Them or a trusted oracle could make me feel that I need to give.
The religion, and the church is not the issue. The church was set up for good, to spread the word of God throughout the world. Whether you agree with it or not, the reason people try to bring others to churches is because it is very much believed that people are sinners who need salvation. It's not really that hard to believe that if you look around at the world. That said, people are people. There is none perfect, no not one. We each have our weaknesses, and flaws. The reason churches have such a bad reputation is because of all those people who bend the word to their own ideals, for pride and personal gain. Please don't blame the churches, no, not even those catholics or muslims, because it is the people who pervert them.
Back on topic, it is very cruel when people treat us in this manner. Perhaps they were really out to get you, perhaps they were having fun at your expense, and perhaps there was never meant to be any harm. Either way, it is our choice to be offended and have our feelings hurt. Sometimes it's inevitable that it will happen. But sometimes we just have to go up to a person and tell them (probably nicely) that their actions are hurtful, and they will "usually" (not always) stop. Other times it's better to just laugh it off. Being offended is a terrible feeling. Most people though don't set out to offend us.
Guardian
I agree that stuff like this is precisely the reason i don't go to church anymore. My mom once told me that just because you don't limit yourself to one denomination or another, just because you don't go to church doesn't mean you can't have a relationship with God. I think this can be applied to spirituality in general, if you're the kind of person who needs to discover things on your own and needs a certain amount of freedom from the establishment (which often makes incredibly self-centered decisions based on human errors), it's just better to know in your heart what you truly believe. I don't think God would ever strike anyone down for not following hypocrites and people who think they're right but only do so because they're in a position of power to make others believe as they do. For example, the name escapes me now, but have you guys ever heard of that Baptist church that believes in going to soldiers' funerals and protesting them because they think it's God's will that they're killed? Their mission is to stop the "spread" of homosexuality, and they believe the reason so many soldiers are getting killed is because this country is overrun with gay people. There's a documentary I saw about it, it's called The Most Hated Family In America. If anyone wants to see how far a church will take their power to do the most un-Christian things...watch that. it's disturbing and it makes me sick. But I also think, no, I don't clai to know, but I think that those are the people who will pay for what they've done, not someone like me who just chooses to worship in a non-standard way.
I agree with Nem. The people were asked to stop, and they wouldn't. Kristin you should have gone to a different church.
yeah sounds like the best thing may be to find a new church, where you are not treated with such inconsideration.
Wow, reading the comments in post 13 made me sick too. I mean about those Baptists. How horrible! I sure hope you're right and that they do pay. Thinking something is one thing. Making others miserable is another. Personally, I wish that I could go and worship with like-minded people but the closest places are in Pennsylvania and I'm in New Jersey.
Yeah, the documentary was quite creepy. What really got to me about it was that they're really sure that they're right, even though they're the only church that takes things to the extreme that they do. It's mostly this big family, and there are a lot of young children who have to hold up protest signs and they don't even know what they mean. The guy who filmed the documentary asked the youngest kid who was like 6 why he was holding up the sign protesting homosexuality (it said "God Hates Fags) and he said he didn't know. Then the mom jumped in and asked him did he know what a fag was, and he said they were evil. Really creepy stuff. And at another point during the documentary, one of the other kids was walking down the street holding one of the signs, and some person, enraged by this, threw a soda out the window at her as they drove by. I can see why something like that would provoke such an emotional reaction, but the kid couldn't help it she was raised in such a fucked up environment. If anything, that person should have thrown the soda at the mom, who was also there, or even the guy filming the documentary, evenn though he was innocent it would have been better him than that poor girl.
I'm not an easy hater but I absolutely hate people like that. They're the same sorts of people who'll try to tell you that your blindness or other handicap was the result of some sin you, or if you were born blind, your family must have committed. I'd like to see one of them lose their sight and then hear what they had to say about it. And if they'll target gays like that they'd surely target the blind or otherwise handicapped.